A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
