do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
