woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
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