ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
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