toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
look no pants
She is in my trunk
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
