I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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