Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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