I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
