So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Ambien. No doubt about it.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
