Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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