im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize