he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
