You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
