Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Randomize
