I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
