im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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