I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
