bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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