i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
