I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
