i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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