That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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