Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
