i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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