how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
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