what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Just invented taco cereal.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Randomize
