just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
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