do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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