I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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