It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I'm bleeding and have questions
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
