you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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