Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Randomize
