It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
