I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
