Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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