I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
