Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
I forget how to act sober
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
