we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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