i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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