Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Randomize
