I love having hate sex.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
