but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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