You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
