Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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