you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Randomize