Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
