North Korea, Best Korea!
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
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