I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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