so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Sext me about skeletons
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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