i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
