good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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