My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Randomize
