Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
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