seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
