I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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