Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
You can't just leave with hair like that
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
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