I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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