the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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