If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
