I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I think my fart just growled at me.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
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