I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
