How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
