My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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