My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
