You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Randomize
