I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
