the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
