just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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