Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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