I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Randomize
